I am my only last option in my own admission to do anything
about life. The problem with me is I think too much and talks too much about it
but I do nothing. Nothing about the thing I want to change in the life.
Ultimately I lose the chance and the option I have at that time to do anything
and later on I regret about it.
So my problem is what I can do about it, it is really hard
to change anything in your system when you know it is bad but is now rooted in
your system so deep that you can’t change it. It needs really a great will
power to do anything, which obviously I am not blessed with. I am very week
often when I come to take decision and some time emotional too, it hurt my
chance to make anything work in my favors. I don’t know sometime how to express
it, but slowly I am learning it from other, how they do it, how it should be
done, but still I have to find my perfect blend of them.
Meanwhile my Ramadan are going great, I have done some
amazing thing this week, staying away from music, video or any type of activity
which might not be done in Ramadan, but the most difficult thing is not to lie,
well the work I do, often I have to lie and something it need to put in right
prospective but I didn’t do that this week. I choose not to speak or rather
leave the statement unfinished rather then lying. Again like I said earlier,
this Ramadan I decide so many things to do, but most of them are still pending
and I know for record I am not doing it or will not be able to do it.
And before I finish this blog, I like to take this time to
say something to all my friends, I miss those day when we used to talk so much
over phone or while we meet about life, other and gossips. Now it seems we all
are so busy in our life that we don’t have time for other and also for
ourselves. We have become another bunch of that mechanical man who only does
what is written them to do, but we could not find any other way to do things. I
like to talk to people but I don’t like talking, I like listening most of
conversation. I am good at it that is what I think. But now it seems there is
so less time in a day, and I have so much to do. God give me a break.
P.S. Already planning for a week break around eid, I don’t
know what I am going to do in this time, but I need a break from all the things
which I do. It’s time to meet the peoples whom I have not met in last 4 year.
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