When you said, I am not your friend

The movement I read those words, something inside me felt like broken. I really felt bad about it, which just made me take a look inside myself. I realize the point that it was my mistake to not keep up to the point which I have agreed, and it was not acceptable but after all we all are human and we make mistake.

I don’t somehow I am unable to keep my friends happy all the time, intentionally or unintentionally I keep hurting them in a way, that keep distance from myself. I am little bad or you can worst to keep up with friends. I don’t call, I don’t text, I don’t meet lots of people, I don’t reply them on time, it is like totally unsocial person inside me which I can’t get out off. Whenever there is any brake in the friendship often when I look back, I found myself as a culprit, this one is also one of them.

I have lost so many friends in life, that after a point it stopped hurting me, people came and gone but I don’t care about any of them. But somehow this one has hurt me; I have made someone felt bad whom I never wanted to feel bad. I don’t know why it happens, but somehow losing courage to say the truth has cost me. There are people in life who are just beyond measure of BF and GF, they are just pure friends, I had few and in last one year I have lost both of them. Today was last straw in it, I know my mistakes have cost me, but somehow I thought they will understand me.

“She” has been with me when I was most alone in my life, I was away from home and I needed someone whom I can trust. She has been my sharing point and also the most entertaining point in life, no matter how busy our life have been, somehow or some where we got the chance to take and we just feel so better. Losing her has been my biggest loss, she is neither my GF nor my BFF but she was someone whom I know, I can count on.

Life goes on even when you feel low or you lose best thing in your life. I am learning that part, how to cope with it, but at time I feel what my mom says, “Saifi, one day you will be left alone, because you don’t mingle with anyone”, I think she know me perfectly that how unsocial his son is. Mom knows everything. I can’t do anything for it right now, no matter what I try, in a week I will be back to my usual self. I don’t know what will happen, I will be left alone, all the people will embrace me, but some time it is hard when people don’t understand and even don’t ask you about why you did it. 

Pain of loosing some one..

It is very painful incident of my life, I lost my best friend in an accident..he was very unlucky guy..and yes my only true & best friend. After MBA every day we talk to each other...he was in up police as sub inspector, A intelligent boy..a simple personality but before five months... there was no msg no call. I was so busy from home to gurgaon, but every day i make call to him but all the numbers were switch off. I thought he is angry on me I search his number from my bill but I was fail. I posted my msg to him on facebook account on 26^th   June but last 2 Oct i was calling him and yes..his mobile was ringing...I was happy and think I will surely abused him for his attitude and ask to his mother where is he I was so happy but the first words from the side make me stone and I was not bear this pain...i lost my friend for forever :( he was Sumit Kumar my unlucky friend...:( i am so upset and my trust is not stand with me...he was alone and only man in his family...his father was expire when he was in 12 th classs and before last 10 months his brother expire. I always suggest him for marriage but uffffff... on my marriage i called him and he promise to come but at last moments his joining date come and on urgent basis he was called for Allahabad.......23 years hard study and working at home with the hard training of SI god give him this result :( he was my friend and always will be till the end of my life..Lets pray for his soul,for his family......................!

''Mare mitne ka gam na karna,

mari yado ko sambhale uhi rakhna .....

k in yado se jude he tere mere riste....

risto k in dhago ko uh na dhafan karna.

''Mare mitne ka gam na karna,

mari yado ko sambhale uhi rakhna .....

I Can never f

A day without phone

Can you imagine a day in your life when you don’t have any phone with you, a day without phone? It might sound weird but I think we all need just one day a week without a phone to just be away with all the unwanted conversation with people. A day where you don’t have to worry about facebook, whatsapp, we chat and other dozen chat application in your phone. A day when you can forget about people who don’t like you but still comment and like your status on facebook and pin you on your BBM at random time to just check about your plan. I think in today we all deserve break from this virtual world, but it need really a bid heart to do so.

Let me confess I tried this once, let me tell you what happened. First of all the people who have not called me in the ages have called me to check about me, then my family member got worried because my phone was switch off and top of it every 5 minute I was checking my pocket that I have lost my phone and then reminding myself, you have just put your phone in home. Well it has become a habit to carry a phone, even when you sleep last thing you do is to check your phone and first thing is again checking your phone. May be earlier it was said that dog is human best friend but now that place has been taken by phone. But one thing I like to say living without mobile phone was much simpler and much easier. You were harder to reach and you maintain that exclusivity but now any one can reach you anytime and also anywhere, even in your bathroom if you carry your phone there.

 

If you don’t carry your phone for one day with you, you will not face many problems in life. You can spend you free time with the person with whom you want rather than being disturbed by your friend. It also gives you time to talk to the person whom you want to know face to face rather than on chat or on phone. And also it eliminate the photo factor, it irritate me when I see people taking photo on same place dozen times without even changing anything. Without phone you are more like being naturally you rather behaving like someone else. For whole day you are not worried about anything, like even while writing this blog I received tops of whatsapp message from friends, I just realized how much out life is depended on phone. Our phone is like our identity which we could not part away with. Just phone is the way you will spend your life.

I hope someday in my life I could decrease my dependency on phone. I just want to totally undo my dependency on phone, I should be using the phone when I need rather that phone using us and getting all the information which all the people need. May be slowly we will learn to live life without phone, but that is still quite a time go in such a day.