Well I joined facebook and orkut in my graduation time
around 5 year back. I got so much interested in the social word that it used to
take my most of spare time. Well today when I look back, I have closed down my
orkut account (well nobody uses orkut these days) and now I am using facebook
even more lesser than the blogging. Is it because I have reached a saturation
level or maybe there is nothing new I found on these days on these sites.
Let’s go back to the beginning time of the social
networking. It was good to join facebook or orkut because it connected us to
lots of lost friend of school, college. We used to look after all new update
from friends, family and others. We used to comment on every new photo of any
one we know, good bad and even some time ugly. But spirit was always to stay
connected. Then Gradually I stopped using orkut. The reason was it was leaving
me no space for myself. The photos were commented, and with comment there used
to thousands of endless question from friends, family. Facebook was still
different, I started using it more because my fewer friends were here and I can
express myself. People start reading my
blog and start commenting on it, It made me cautious of what I am writing.
Before I post any update I used to ask myself, It will hurt someone or not, it
is good enough or not. Well these things you start to think when you become too
much of cautious about yourself.
Every update, photo and comment made me more and more
cautious about what I am saying. One day one of my friends asked me about why I
write a blog like that, it is not good. It made me more cautious about what I am
saying on these sites. But soon it all became a routine in life.
Then saturation point arrived; now day’s facebook has become
a S@#$ place. People either like photo or single line comment. “Nice pic”,
“Great” and blahh blaah. Well It will not end here, this type of things goes on
and on. No one update what they feel like, it is either CCP or some time it is
even worse than that.
It brings to me my question why I joined this facebook or
any social networking site. Just to get all this crap in my profile,
obliviously not. But in the end I needed to decide how much I can take. I shut
my orkut account and even start using my facebook less. I put my focus on my
blogging, let’s hope this place will not become the mess facebook and orkut has
become. Now days it not about how much you can update, it is to update how much
you take from these things.
P.S.: Everything has a Saturation point. Either you reach it
and move on to next part or you find new things to move in next level.
I have been thinking about lots of things to write about but
as everybody know how much lazy I am, it just didn’t happen until it is odd
hour to keep your mind in mood to write or I am reminded repeatedly to finish
the pending work by my scheduler (usually my back logs are so much that even
that can’t be scheduled).
I was just reading one of my blog and thought how my opinion
has changed from last year. It usually gives you a better perspective of things
once you are away from that situation.
I never believed in the thought that you need good teachers
in the MBA in my opinion far from teacher you need more of a motivator and
mentor in the MBA who can guide you rather than putting more focus on teaching.
I have seen both type of mentor in my MBA life. In first year I never had a
single interaction with my mentor at that time but in the second year I had a
mentor whom we used to interact daily and tell our though and problems daily
related to college, life and profession.
At that time I written about what I felt for my mentor and it evoked lot
of response. Some thought it was emotional other thought it was buttering. I
written what I thought at that time was right and somehow it was true. I read
that blog thousand times but still it feels it misses something or other thing.
When I left the college, I had only good things to say about
my mentor. And now my junior has the same thing to say about my mentor. It is
not about one person or a group of student, but when one group, second group
and even third group start praising your. You bound to have something special. And
I think my mentor has that thing, something that made her special teacher and
mentor.
Well I hope she continue to mentor of many batch to come,
that’s why I always say sometime age is not a barrier in what you can be. Sometime
I miss mentor in my life. But what we can do, we all have moved on in our life
but she still mentor and nurture lots of lost and potential talent in the
college.
You need those kinds of people in college who can guide the talents in
right way.
Once I want to a teacher of marketing in last year about to
consult one of my projects, He rejected it and said it was not possible. But
few months back when I started this blog in my college, my mentor was the first
to believe in my idea. I am still continuing it; I hope to do it always on my
own. But the faith she shown on my idea at that time has given me faith to
continue this.
P.S.: Sometime In life you need those teachers
who belief in your idea and let you free to choose your own path. I don’t want
to name her but everyone who will read this will know who I am referring to.
Why you never realize how much you love some one till it is gone. I not the first to say or feel like this, As my crush was coming towards its end.
It was farewell day. The name we gave to it was “Rukhsat”. It means saying good bye to any one in a gross term (I hardly understood that thing) . This was name which was give by dear friend Saifi. He picked that name while he was in his home and we were looking for the name for the farewell of the seniors. He suggested this name and we all like it instantly. It was name which defined that part of my life. Going away from the thing that you loved the most. I wanted it to last forever but things don’t go as per your plan. Do they?
Well I could not Imagine how would be college like without her presence in it. It was weird thing to Imagine. from last three months we have been best of friends. She was my senior but still our friendship was best thing I could have asked for in my college life. Some says I am apple of her eyes but neither did she cared nor I. We used to spend hours in the canteen, college grounds and even some time in the market. but for her it was friendship and for me it was more than that. I liked her but I could not tell her. I regret that part few times but then also I was happy to have her as a friend. Today it was all different, she will be leaving the college. I never know that this day will come so soon in my life. I was still in thought of her while standing in front of the college Auditorium where our farewell was going to happen. I have not participated in anything just because it it all really politically related and you need to be so much involved, it is better to avoid it.
I was still lost in my dreams. Some how I never notice what is in front of me. Seniors have started to arrive in the farewell, I was not a bit interested in it. After a long wait I can see her coming from the stairs. She was looking stunning in Sari. That was the dress code for girls. If I could have got chance to make one second to be printed on your mind, for me that was the point. She has not done any makeup but still she was looking so good. In the party I could not get chance to chat with her. She was busy with her classmates and I was with mine. I was all the time looking for her. I was only looking at her. I received a message from her in my phone. “Meet you at tea point after party”.
for me whole party was pointless after that. I left party even before the Mr. fresher and Miss. Fresher event was finished. Tea point was the place where we meet usually in the evening after the college. I reached there and ordered the tea. I picked my phone and dropped her message, “I am at tea point. Plz come fast”. I don’t know what to say to her. good, bad or nothing. In my mind I was just thinking about the same. it was really amazing how time has passed. We used to share maggie, ice cream in the tea point. All the good things comes to end.
“Hi, so why you here outside in the middle of the show” she asked with great smile in her face.
“Well I am here because this is best place to be with you. And also I was not interested in the party, there was all the crap thing going on”. I said while seeing her smiling face. It was just like a fresh air her smile can make you forget any thing.
“Well this is my last day, so today this tea party is from my side”, she said to me while sitting on the bench. I could not make up mind how to react. I was feeling bad now this is going to be worse I thought in my mind.
“Look I want to say something to you”, her voice seems to be in a serious tone and usually this only happen when she want to say something Important. I said, “Go on, I am listening”.
“We are good friends, and today is my last day here. I don’t know after this day we will be able be meet ever or not. I don’t have answers of that question. but few thing I wanted to tell you. I never knew we would become such a good friend over a period of time. You were there for me when I needed you and you helped me a lot in every matter I needed you. sometime more than you can do for me. but this is it, you have to realize it. This is day where all things come to an end. I move on in life and I hope you could also move on. I know what you feel for me, but I can’t do anything about it” I was just feeling strange in my heart. Is this it would be coming to end.
she continued, “look at our first day, I asked you pencil and you didn’t have it with you. but still we became friend. And indeed a best friend but then I could go any further than this. I hope you know that”. I took a deep breath inside. I looked in her eyes, it has still the same glow which was on the first day we met. It was a unusual silence in between us. She broke the silence, “ I have bought you a gift because I knew you would never bring any gift for me”. She opened her bag and took out a packet from there. “this one is for you and open it right now”.
I opened it and it was a key ring. A key ring on which it was written “I am your crush”. I could not hold my self. I felt like crying, it was getting harder for me. Thanks was the only word I could say. I knew this was the last time we could each other any thing. I hold my voice and said I bought a gift for you. “really I could not believe that, where is my gift” she said in her as usual cheerful tone.
“ I will give you once you will reach in the audi again” I said while seeing her face. I could she her face in the fading light. the sunset point was coming to its end. We completed our tea and she went and I pressed send button from my mobile.
“As I was not able to say things infront of you, I decide to say in this wasy” why it have to end this way, we met, became friend and then we have to leave this way. why it have to end this way, I know you never said to be with me forever, I never wanted to be the special one, I know it will end in any way, but why it have end this way, you were my crush from the first day, I hope you will remember me always, I never wanted to say goodbye, but now it time to say, you were just my crush, but why it have to end this way”….
I could not stop my self from dialing her number. "Hello, Can we meet after farewell"..
After almost 2 years I just wanted to revisit the most important phase of my life. The 96th devil, It was the term which was first used by Jayant, one of the member of this family. He was the one who discovered this name, a name which is still quite close to all of the member of this family.
I was the last person to enter in the 96th devils family. The others were Nisheeth, Jayant and Aman.So if you are curious what is 96 No is related to. 96 number was our flat no. in which we spend our golden time of hostel life. Flat No 96 in a way defined the way we lived our life for next few months. I became the 96th flat no member by chance or say by luck. Only if Amit would not have left for other flat, some body could have arrived earlier than me but that’s how sometime luck is with you. You get the chances and you create your own destiny with it.
96th devil had everything in it. It had drama, emotion and some very heavy action also. For me it started with being roommate of Nisheeth. He was totally opposite of me or what I am, He is organized, he finish his work on time and he spend his time with all calculation. And the scary part was he used to take bath daily at 7 AM, even in chilling winter. He used to act for me as alarm. He used to finish his assignment on the time and I mostly end up being coping it. Well it is always pain to have a roommate like me. I never wake up on time, always late on the every occasion. Well still he love me I know that. That’s always come naturally to me.
If I found Bade Bhaiya as my room mate than Jayant found a match made in heaven as his room mate. Mr. Aman. Now first time you see him you might be scared but never go by his looks. He has a hearth of gold, oh that was too much of praise but at least he has heart of child. Till the day he was in 96th family we never saw his room locked and Jayant was used to sleep used in half of the bed because in rest of 1 1/2 kapoor sahab used to sleep. And only way Jayant used to kick his A#@ was by studying. He used to study in every corner of the falt. I still remember when Kapoor sahab used to kick him out of his room, he used to study in gallery. Now that was his dedication for study.
In 96th family we all used to take different bus to reach the college. Well from our hostel it was daily 4 buses used to Go. Bade bahiya used to take first bus after that I used to take second one. Just because I could not match his Inhuman effort of waking up so early. And if you are curious which bus Jayant and Aman used to take. In whole hostel life they only took 4th bus that was last bus. even some time they used to miss last bus also.
In that starting period of my hostel life in flat no 96, I never felt alone. Some time I missed my family but they all where there for me. In that flat I learned so many things. I celebrated my first break at Top and the party after that. I never felt like it was hostel except at the of food or on Sunday. On Sunday there used to be huge rush in mess of our hostel because on that Choole Bature used to be served. Well you need to fight for at least half n hour to get in line and by the time you reach in the front either your eating mood would be gone or you would deiced. "Lets eat rice one more day".
Indeed those where best days of my life. I never knew that living in hostel can be so much of fun. I want to write all the memories in series. For today this is a gift for the other three devils in that flat.This 96th devil will always be Jayant creation. Best part is 3 of us me, Nisheeth and Jayant are still together. We have moved on from 96th devil to be more like Corporate devil but yet those memories are still fresh in my mind. As the time move on the memories are fading from my mind.
This is place where 96th Devil used to live...FLAT NO 96...
It was 7.45
in the evening when I left from my office. I was very tired at that time so I
was walking down slowly towards the main road to catch the rickshaw to the way
to metro station. There is a temporary rickshaw stand over their near my office
where so many rickshawwala’s stand for the passengers.
So, it was a
normal day for me and I used to go there to catch the rickshaw. So, I asked to
a rickshaw wala, “Will you go to that metro station?”……..
He said,
“Yes sir!!! But do you know the fare???....
I said, “Yaaa!!!
It’s 20 Rs. “A sign of calmness and happiness appeared on her face. Then he
replied, “You are so kind of sir,,,, because when some passenger negotiated
with me for Rs.15 or less then I feel very sad…..!!!!” Then, I realized,’ how a
single penny costs so much for a person like him………’
So, I hired
him and he rides his rickshaw towards my destination. In between, a signal came
and one another rickshaw came from other side in a high speed, and he overtakes
a cyclist who misbalanced due to this sudden act. Then that rickshawwala got stuck
into a bike by which that bike felt down on the road. Then, few shopkeepers
over that place slapped him very hardly 2-3 times.
Now, I
crossed ahead from that incident with my rickshawwala and he became very
emotional. I didn’t understand, “Why he was behaving like that in such an
emotional way???”……
But after
some time, I realized the pain behind his words. Actually the matter was that, “he
saw an accident in the morning where a truck driver crushed a cyclist and that
cyclist was dead on the spot.”
So, he was
very upset on that day. He continuously discussed me about this incident
throughout the way. Initially, I thought that he is already drunk and telling
so much nonsense, but when I took him seriously, then I realized his feelings.
He was continuously abusing to the car, bus or truck drivers and the words of
him that inspired me to write this blog are:
“AGAR
TUMHARE PASS GADI CHALANE KA LICENCE HAI,,, TO KYA INSANO KO MARNE KA LICENCE
BHI MIL GYA KYA TUMHE????.........”
Now, I leave
this question on you guys… I know most of them you replied that it happens by mistake,
destiny or blah-blah reasons. But are these reasons sufficient to compensate
one’s life that lost it in these bloody road accidents.
Is destiny
totally responsible for that??? Or, our hurriedness,,,, passion,,, madness,,,
style are responsible for that.
My motive to
write this blog is not to discuss road safety measures or any other this type
of thing. I want to tell one thing is that “Nothing is more important than a
person’s life,,, so please be aware and control your passion in such a manner
that it doesn’t affect others.
Somebody
said to me recently, “Once a Ganguly fan, Always a Ganguly fans”. I am one of
few Ganguly fans who still believe that he is and he was the best captain of
India.
Yesterday
night Dada and Dhoni came in front of each other one time more. It is not the
first time that they both have faced each other as a captain of opposition
team. Dada was captain of KKR in first IPL and Dhoni was captain of Chennai. It
was the time when we saw the rise of Dhoni and the fall of Ganguly. Now in
present time the debate is on who was and is the best captain of India. Ganguly
or Dhoni?
In my
opinion it would always be Ganguly. He was made captain of India team in the
most difficult circumstances. One side there was issue of match fixing and
other side issue of new team building. He took the challenge on. He was the
changing face of Indian cricket. A team builds by the youth and the old players
as well. We saw the rise of Sewagh, Yuvraj, Zaheer and Harbhajn and yet there
was place of Sachin, Dravid and Laxman as well. He was captain who was not
afraid of any team. He believed in team building rather than on Individual
performance by players. Under his Guidance team beaten the Mighty Australia,
Won in Pakistan and even reached the world cup final mind you not in India It
was in South Africa.
This picture define a new generation of India Cricket
People will argue that Dhoni won world Cup T20 and world cup. Lets face it India won world cup due to Yuvraj singh batting and Zaheer Khan Bowling. Sehwag and Harbajan chipped in too. But now nobody remember the Yuvraj heroic in the world cup. Well who care of the troops in the team.
If ever
there is player who will get his place in team because of his captain it would
be Ganguly. Look at the current Pune team. This is team who has lost his star
player like Yuvraj, and even not participated in the player auction. Then Ganguly
came in and changed everything. Now pune after last night is on the top. A team
with not the best of player but playing likes team. They played like team who
want to win and Dada who captain them like a real leader.
You can see
the diff. between dhoni and Ganguly. Dhoni is captain of the best team in IPL
but yet he is not able to win the matches due to his captainship but Ganguly is
captain of average team in pune. He made them fighting like a team. They won
against Mumbai due to his fantastic captainship.
I read somewhere
few weeks back, “Ganguly was best captain of Indian and Dhoni was captain of
best team”. All hails to Ganguly as the best captain of India and still going
strong.
P.S.: We all love Ganguly as a captain and as a leader. He has still DadaGiri in it.
In life you
face lots of language barrier. Sometime of language you speak, sometime the way
you communicate and sometime that way you perceive other person. As a kid you
never understand these things.
In my early
days when I was about 10 years old, I used to have a tutor for me who used to
teach me Urdu, Arabic and Holy Quran. He taught me Urdu basics how to read, how
to write this beautiful language. I used to call him Hafiz ji. He was in mid 30’s
when he used to teach me. He was a simple man as I used to see him. Hafiz ji
used to wear a long white kurta (which usually lots of Maulana wear in the
present time) and Lungi. I never seen him in the angry mood, whenever I have
seen him he has always a sense of calmness with him. I still admire him a lot.
He used to
teach me how to read and write Urdu language, I picked up quite fast as I always
loved the language. I still remember lots of Nazam that he taught me at that
time. Some of them were of Iqbal “Lab pe aati hai dua ban ke”, “ek parinde ke
paigam”. He knew what he was teaching and how much I can take at that age. But at
time I never understood these things. I always felt he is too harsh on me to
teach me same thing again and again even when I am ready for next level. He
knew that learning is one thing but retaining it for long time is difficult.
After 10th
Hafiz ji said to me my education for Urdu and Holi Quran is completed. In a way
it was end of a cycle in my life. I moved on in my life with more focus towards
my education in other fields. I learned more of English but still it could not
match my hunger of Urdu language. But my learning of Urdu was never completed.
After Graduation I realized, I never completed my education of Urdu language. I
know how to read, writes the Urdu but some time I am not able to understand the
meaning of words. That is the time when I remember Hafiz ji, he taught one
thing that I never forget. He said to me one time, “Saifi , learning is not important.
You can learn even at the age of 60 but always improving and retaining what you
have learned is more important”.
Now I know
why it is important to be a good student to learn. You can be a good learner
but if you are not a good student no knowledge will serve you ever. Today I want
to learn more of Urdu, Arabic and even some more foreign language but I don’t get
the time to learn. Urdu I am still following because I know how to read and I
always try to learn it.
P.S. :Imaan mujhe roke hai to kheenche hai mujhe kufr
This is how one of my close used to describe his feeling. He
loves someone because he hates her. Now you must be confused? Either he can
love someone or he can hate someone, but how can he do both at the same time. I
was also confused about this for a long time, till recently I got some clarity
about this and that prompted me to write about this.
Thing happened like this in his life, He used to initially
like that girl. Then he started to hate that girl because his friend started to
hate her. Then after sometime he realized that he loved her but then how to
admit that in front of his friend. So he hates her in front of his friend but
inside his heart and when his friends are not near he loved that girl.
Well things seem so simple with a little piece of paragraph,
but life is not easy as it seems. Well she tells her friends that he meets her
and he denies every week that he meets her. So as a friend we are confused to
whom we believe. Either to believe to friend who is more close to me or to the
truth which I can see in front of my eye? Well this is really disturbing thing
in life when some of your close friend leave you in such a state. I am no saint
but believe me I never ditched my friend because I wanted to make someone feel
better. Worse you say to that person to not disclose this kind of information.
But then also if your friends came to know about that, what will be you
credibility? I know people will argue that it is someone personal like and you
don’t have any right to ask any question. My argument will be always either
make friend from your heart or leave them and don’t feel sh@#t about it. Why
carry a dead relation, when you know it is dead.
Well problem is you trying to make one relationship work
with lie to others. I know everybody does it but sometime you have to trust
other and truthful to other in order other could be with you. I never said it
is bad but I think if you lose your friend in life then matter how hard you try
you may never get them back until you make new friends. And making friend in
any place is more difficult as you grow old.
Some time you try to be over smart in life. You tend to
think, how come they will know about it. This is how life works out some time.
But making friend is not easy but losing them is quite easy. Well they will
realize these things when they will lose something which they are quite sure
they can’t lose.
Well in life you hardly make good friend who trust you. But
that trust barrier Is broken in any relation it is hard to get it back.
How many
time you would have heard people say to you, “You are so selfish”. Few times or
lots of time, it don’t make any difference. I have heard this thing so many times
myself in life that it is like any other word to me. It makes no difference to
me to know whether I am selfish or not. Let me tell you the real thing, in life
everybody is selfish for his or her goodness. Till you are in good terms with
other one it is fine but once good terms are gone, you are deemed as selfish.
“Being
Selfish” is not bad thing at all. It might be used in the negative sense but
who mind to use it in life, certainly I don’t mind it. If we look at the
decision we have been made in the life from the school time to college, the
friend we choose, the life we live, even the mobile we use. All of us have been
selfish in life somewhere somehow. We lie, we cheat and also betray sometime to
live life as we want. So what is wrong with it?
I don’t know,
but sometime in our life we have to be selfish. Let’s be honest, who will not
cheat to get 100 marks? I think lots of us will, someone will not but then they
will be selfish is some other way. In life we take some decision which may
sound to other as selfish but in reality if there would be in same position
they would do the same.
Well I am
cool with “Being Selfish” status sometime. It takes out the burden of being
good to others. You can do what you really want to do not what other expects
you to do. Some time you need to enjoy the “Being Selfish” Status…..
One of most heart touching poem. I know every one say to follow your heart but sometime it is hard to explain why to do so.
You've always told me "Follow your heart" But I wouldn't know where to start My heart is telling me to pursue something That would break the world's rules of living
You've always told me "Follow your heart" Helps me when everything has gone dark If I do what my heart tells me to do I wouldn't be ready to lose you
You've always told me "Follow your heart" I can't do that, I don't want us to be apart I can't see our friendship ending But I can't go on pretending
You've always told me "Follow your heart" But will my heart lead us apart? Or will my heart bring us together? I would want to be with you forever
You've always told me "Follow your heart" One day, I will and I know where to start I don't understand why God would let us meet If there was no way for us to be...MEET...
Well recently I read about LOVE somewhere and I liked that
thought quite a bit.
Love is just a calculation. Before you decide to get into
“Someone Special” with someone, there are a certain things you calculate and
derive a calculation, depending upon which, you may or may not have
relationship.
First, you calculate if the other person is food enough for
you to date or not. Is he tall enough?Is she is hot enough? Is he rich enough? Is she hot enough? Is he
intelligent enough? Is she hot enough?
Most of the people you meet never match the criteria you
set. They are a total reject. But then, there are a few, who do fulfill your
criteria. And then, another set of calculation starts. You calculate if getting
into something with that person would affect your mental peace.
Would he treat me well? Would she be good at making food?
Would he care enough? Would she be too demanding? Would she be too possessive?
Would she be too much talking? Would he give me enough time? Would she be too
clingy?
And then- the most important question of all times – Would
this interfere with my career, study? (Depend upon which stage of life you are
at that time).
And what if your special one lives miles apart from you? You
would do anything and everything to make it work. The beginning is awesome,
with you never leaving your IM, phone message box and even social networking
update, telling your love how much you miss their presence. You make every
call, message and you do all things to make it work as you have planned it out.
But it grows old, and you start to struggle. And then again- CAREER.
But you like each other! So what is the solution? A strict
open relationship, that does not demand too much of your time and does not have
a hassle of a real relationship. And you get all the perks! What can be better?
Ha! As if love follows a plan! Love cannot be planned!
It is like gravity. You can try to go against it, but you
really can’t. You can jump off a cliff, trying to fly, but you will fall. It is
inevitable. Similarly, falling in love can’t e prevented. It is inevitable too.
And if you are smart enough to recognize that it is real,
you should be smart enough to fight for it and never let it go. Life does not
give you too many second chances.
Don’t let love ever pass you by.
P.S.: finding true
love is not easy but losing it is quite easy.
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