Some beautiful memories

Last time I wrote on college life, it was a really reflect my mind at that time. At that time I was a person who was trying to cope with the working life, and missing his college freedom. I still do to some extent, some morning I love to stay back in the bed for extra hour but I know I have to wake up and join the office on time. No longer I can take the freedom of missing first hour and join for the rest day. I was the last person who would have missed college because I never missed my school when I left it, I never missed my graduation days but now I missed all of it.

Few fading memories..

I know this is a human nature, you start missing those thing which you can’t repeat. I know once my freedom days will be over, I will miss this too. It is a complicated process in the mind, we never accept what we have, we always desire for better thing and in the end up no realizing the best thing we have or could have. Well life is like that, we move on in life fast and forget most of thing of past.

Sometime you keep the memories of beautiful past with you, but you can’t keep those memories for all the time. As time passes, with your memory and new things coming in your life, it keeps on fading away no matter how good memory it is. I have become used to this, I have forget lots of people from my school time, college time but what I could not forget is some fading memory which I have of each of the place. It is scarce thing to hold on; your heart will always be looking for those good memories in bad times. I have been fortunate to have such good friends who take care of me like a family; they have made me so comfortable in this city that I miss my family less. But I know it would not last long, some day we all will get separated. We will move on in life, time will change and it would be hard for us to relive the beautiful time we are having right now in life. Sometime making friends are easy but keeping hold on to them become difficult as you learn about them because not all the things about them are good and acceptable to you. But it will be never about the accepting good thing about your friends but also knowing about their shortcoming and never let them feel about that.

Today I look back at my life last 4 years, I think about how different it would have been if Nisheet, Jayant, Raj, varun and Vikas would not have been in my life. Some have already moved on in life and other will soon but the memories of this time will be always there. I still remember how good time I had in hostel with all of them and then in the rented flat we used to live in greater noida. It was all about taking care of each other and also living life to full, and yes I have lived life with them fully.

For me there are very few movement in life in last 4 years in which they not been involved, from my college topping day to my national level competition wining day, from my worst day to my best day in college they all have there with me, not only supporting me but also taking care of me in the hard time. I know people always miss their family but sometime you create your own little world with friends which can never be replaced by any other thing. My these movement could have never become special if they all would not have been there, I could not get so much famous with there so much PR, I learned so much from each of them, that it would be hard to thank them each of them for that. I never thought about this kind of life, but now I know why people are scared to live alone, the worst thing you can have in world is being alone without friends.

I want to thank them all helping me in making me what I am today, my family told me the path on which I have to go but my friends walked with me on that path and made my journey memorable.

Searching my philosophy of life

Recently one of my friend asked me, What is your philosophy of life? I could not answer him at that time.  I thought hard but there was no definite philosophy of life at this time. It is like living a life without knowing what I am going to do it.

Few years back when I was in college there was definiteness about my thought, philosophy of life. How to live life, stay and what I want from life. But in recent years there have been lots of incident in my life which have affected me and my thought process. Either it has been friend’s relationship, breakups and or some melody drama of friends. All of these have left some impact on my thought process which is now at a crossroad. I have lost that clearness of outline which it once processed in mind.

My early approach in life has been always been simple. I just solve the problem as it comes in life, never thought about the life that will come up later. It was like live in this movement. But in last few years my thought has been influenced by the people who live me with me, friends, and family, at some extent religion also. Now my thinking is not as simple as it used to be after I joined the job. The innocence in my thought process is lost I think.

Now coming back to my philosophy point, it is doesn’t get in any person in just one day or say month. It is always influenced by your early life. Every person life goes through some philosophical changes over the year starting from his childhood. In childhood our philosophy is influenced by our family and religion. At that time these two are most important thing which influences your thinking about all the right and wrong in life.

In you teenage or say college life you the most important life you live mostly with friends. Here you are mostly influenced by the group or the friends you have in life. They somehow make you think about the way to live the life. Either it is about bunking the class or studying overnight in the home. Apart from that Movies also affect your thought process over the period of time.

Then you reach to you career life. Where your thinking process gets a 360 degree spin, what you have believed till life and what the life is practice at that time. All you love, life and dreams is about take a toll on your thought process. You will do what you belief but it will not take you anywhere in life.  It is a mid life thought process crisis where you are not sure about what you are doing is right or not. You start to listen to every other person and think he knows more than you about life because he lives better life than you.

I am not sure about my future and how my philosophy will shape up but one thing is sure, each day of life is leaving a mark on this deep thinking process. Either it is good or bad but they all influence by them. Some time even a bad though fascinates me about why there is so much fuss about it, when everything is so simple in life.

May be future will have some more positive impact on me about love and life. I am just searching all these facts which are hidden somewhere in life. I don’t realize but my philosophy of life is changing by each day.

Main aisa kyu ho

What I really want to be in my life? Well this is the question which I have been asking from myself since I was in class 3 but there have been no answer. I get only more confusion and with more question. Let me tell you about this confusing story.

When I was kid in the class 3^rd, I was so impressed with my one teacher that I only wanted to be teacher. For me at that age it was the best profession, you don’t have to take care of anything except teaching and you have the power of pass and fail any student in the subject. For me that was one of the most powerful jobs. I liked my teacher more than the job I realized later. But after few years I realized I could not teach those shouting kids in school and I have to look for new profession for myself…

At that time there was one anuty in my mom office, her son was selected for the MBBS. My mom always wants us to be something like doctor. At that time in 6^th class I pushed for the science, I tried to learn how to draw diagram of difficult insect and also the most difficult thing in biology spelling and scientific name of all the tree, animal and human being. Slowly I realized that this science is not the subject for me. Well the best incident I had at that time was when my science teacher enters in the exam room and gives us brief on the errors in the paper of chemistry. I could not understand what the original mistake in the chemical equation was. Well before even passing my 10^th exam I announced in my home, “I am done with science, I will going to go for commerce”.

Well that decision do changed my life quite a bit. Now I can’t be engineer, doctor and even scientist (Well that last one was not even in my consideration).

In between one day between my 10^th exam and 11^th admission I went with my mom in one of cousin weddings. There one of my uncle met to him and he was more interested in my career that any other thing.

“So saifi what you have decide to do in life”, my uncle asked me.

“Well uncle, I have decided to join commerce and let see after that I have not deiced anything”. I replied to him. But his next question was more difficult for me to explain. He asked, “So, you will engineer or doctor. You know Mr. Khan sahib daughter is now joining MBBS. I hope you make us proud us also”.

Well I don’t know how to answer that question, more so I don’t want to explain him that what diff. between commerce and science was. So I replied, “Let’s see uncle”. After reaching home I decide to never go to mom parties.

I was sure about my next step of joining commerce in 11^th, but somehow there is also some twist like it has been in my whole life. That I will explain in next part.

Life after college...One year after college

Let see life one year back. One year back there was farewell party in our college for our MBA batch. That was the last time we all friend met and enjoyed the day. What a beautiful day those where in the college. I often feel how our life has changed in the last one year, and when I noticed it the changed. It was very huge.

There is one or two group of friends in the college who met often and stay in touch but apart from that all of them have lost touch. Some of them often get in touch on facebook but that is also very less. Our facebook MBA group and page is also there but not that successful for staying in touch.

Now when I look back to those two years in the college, it often turns me nostalgic. There are few incidents which will always remain close to my heart. Either it is special strikes and the unity of the class for that. We used to present on the gate of the college on the time at right time for the strike. There used to lecture of finance in which I never used to get what digit used to say, The rata fication of subjects before exams, overload of assignments and in ever semester three times class exam and I used to never leave any exam even though only two exam was compulsory.

I enjoyed many things in those times. I learned a lot some new things and some old things. There are were some new concepts to me like love, care, friendship and respect to others. There were time of extra classes, bunking classes, road parties and friendship of my friends. All of this was wonderful experience, but today it is only a part of memory and after few years this will also fade away like a distant dream. For neither me it is nor good to left alone my friends who have careful hearts for me. I feel good when I find my friends with me and what about you?

If you are still in touch with your old friends then you are lucky one. Best of luck to everyone for there personal and professional life achievements they can get. I can’t forget you all because you all one of the special page of my book called “life”.

At last my few lines to u all:

Risto bhra ye pyara,

ahsas todna nhi...

tdpati rhe jo umrbhr,

dil pr ashi bat chorna nhi..

sab sath chor dete he mera,

tu sath chor na nhi...

andhero me bhatk kar reh zanuga,

tujse khi me kho jaunga...

hath me bdatha hu,

Tu hath chor na nhi...

sab sath chor dete he mera,

tu sath chor na nhi...

With lots of love...."Deepak Rousa"


P.S.: This is my 100th post in blog. And I am glad that it is blog from deepak and that to about college life. That was the original purpose of this blog to share about our college. thanks for reading our blog posts and sharing your comments for making it more wonderful. 

College life... the few question let unanswered..

As I look back to my college days, I definitely have some question which cannot be answered by many. I don’t want those question to be answered either just because some are question are best if they are unanswered.

But some time in life there are few incidents that will always haunt you. I think there have been ample of those incidents in my college life. Either it had been first crush or last bus rush, either it had been friends break up or in the end your own exam screw up. These incidents never ever leave you in life. It just makes you just more think about those incidents in life. My life has been always full of these types of incident. The biggest of them had been how people have changed in life, some time they are your friend and next movement they are your enemy. But as the thing stand in the end of the college there are no bad feelings towards about anybody (but except few whom we will never forget).

I think as the life stand today it has been good to me, either in college or in any other place. But why it has to screw us when we really need the good luck. And then you think it is all about luck only.

In the first semester all the class mates act as a good friend, they always try to only to good to all. But in the inner self are they really wanted to be like that? There equation with all changes depending on their need and the person ability. Every week you find the equation changing with all of them. Good thing for me was that I had a solid group from start because we all were from hostel. So I was fortunate but there were people who came in the group and left. I never denied we had a grouping in the class and it was evident in every event. 

But still I never hated any one and nor they. It was more like we were not able to get on with each other.

I always believed every individual is different but we have to something in common to be a good friend. But the thing gets difficult for you decide who is right and who is wrong. I have terrible in judging people but still I managed to get it right more often or so. But the matter of face is you wrong decision always haunt you rather than right ones.

In college life I have seen quite things. But those bad memories don’t last long as they never give you anything in life. I never sulked about it and never will just because I never wanted it to be like that. but then again you always expect others also to do the same. Then you learn in life the biggest lesson, if you are good with someone; don’t expect them to be good with you also.

You always end up thinking, why they hate me, why they ditched me or even some time you end up doing some nice analysis. But do we need that? We should be happy in our life or we should be more than unhappy due to some unknown reasons. It was more of memories in life which you can’t change.

Well I am now trying to move out of all those bad memories in my life because now all those memories are dying quite fast. I don’t have any time in life to think about past but yes still I don’t have lots of answer. I wanted them few time back but now I want to let it go.

P.S.: College you might have good time or bad time but one thing you should never change is yourself. In the end this will be the only thing which will be with you always in life.

Mentor....why we need them in college..

I have been thinking about lots of things to write about but as everybody know how much lazy I am, it just didn’t happen until it is odd hour to keep your mind in mood to write or I am reminded repeatedly to finish the pending work by my scheduler (usually my back logs are so much that even that can’t be scheduled).

I was just reading one of my blog and thought how my opinion has changed from last year. It usually gives you a better perspective of things once you are away from that situation.

I never believed in the thought that you need good teachers in the MBA in my opinion far from teacher you need more of a motivator and mentor in the MBA who can guide you rather than putting more focus on teaching. I have seen both type of mentor in my MBA life. In first year I never had a single interaction with my mentor at that time but in the second year I had a mentor whom we used to interact daily and tell our though and problems daily related to college, life and profession.  At that time I written about what I felt for my mentor and it evoked lot of response. Some thought it was emotional other thought it was buttering. I written what I thought at that time was right and somehow it was true. I read that blog thousand times but still it feels it misses something or other thing.

When I left the college, I had only good things to say about my mentor. And now my junior has the same thing to say about my mentor. It is not about one person or a group of student, but when one group, second group and even third group start praising your. You bound to have something special. And I think my mentor has that thing, something that made her special teacher and mentor.

Well I hope she continue to mentor of many batch to come, that’s why I always say sometime age is not a barrier in what you can be. Sometime I miss mentor in my life. But what we can do, we all have moved on in our life but she still mentor and nurture lots of lost and potential talent in the college. 

You need those kinds of people in college who can guide the talents in right way.

Once I want to a teacher of marketing in last year about to consult one of my projects, He rejected it and said it was not possible. But few months back when I started this blog in my college, my mentor was the first to believe in my idea. I am still continuing it; I hope to do it always on my own. But the faith she shown on my idea at that time has given me faith to continue this.

P.S.: Sometime In life you need those teachers who belief in your idea and let you free to choose your own path. I don’t want to name her but everyone who will read this will know who I am referring to.

April fool Banaya....(All fools day).....

First of all I want to wish all my readers and fellow writers a very happy fool’s day. Well this is only day in whole year when you can say fool to any one and yet they will not take it personally as they could have taken it on other day. We think of few smart pranks to play with so we can make fool other, but due to social networking sites and SMS world things are going to funnier and more twisters this year.

I tried few tricks last year on other but they all failed as my as usual plan. Well I don’t know what to do this year. I don’t have plan for this year. I told one of my close friends about this thing. She gave me the best Idea from his brain after a long time, usually she only give his stupid idea about even I don’t about.

She said to me, “Well saifi look you don’t have to lie to make fool. You can simply say the truth about yourself and other person and later can say it was prank”

“Well I got your stupid idea but how that helps in making fool, and what if they believed on that point then”, I replied to her.

“Look saifi, as per my thinking usually people don’t expect to say truth on this day. So if you say something that is truth but you still can’t tell anyone. You can tell and then see their reaction and decide about what to do”, for the first time in her life she was making sense to me.

I gave a long thought to this point and realize this is a good point. Look nobody expect us to make confession of our most untold stories, so even if you accept something to your friend after seeing their reaction you can tell them it is true or not. Well starting from GF confession to making a point about someone behavior. Well I am thinking about to try this but I am not sure about it will work on not.

If you can’t do anything from this then simply share this song on facebook and let other make you fool. And enjoy this fool day. Well around 2:30 Am I can’t get any better idea than this.

If I’d only known...(One of best poem)

This is one of the poems which I have read in some book. Every time I read this poem I realize how much I miss every one whom I love when they are gone.

If I’d only known,

That this is the last time we’ve met, I would have stopped the break of dawn,

And stopped the sun to set…

If I’d only knwn,

That I wouldn’t ever see you again,

I would have framed a picture of you within,

To end my sufferings, to end my pain,

If I’d only known…

That this is the last time I sit by you side,

I would have told you how much I love you,

Keeping rest thing aside,

If I’d only known,,

That we would never hold hands again,

I would have held them strong,

And never let anything go wrong…

All I can say I missed you…

If I’d only known….

Accidently In friendship ……..

While I was in my home town one of my friend told me his friendship which I am trying hard to write down. All the time I was sitting idle and seeing lots of stars in the sky. It was all so bright in the sky and I miss those days in Delhi especially in the summer nights.

A boy harry and girl sally met in college (Ideally title should be when harry met sally). They were from different background, different region. Only thing they have common,there dream to make big in college and life. They started their college not knowing each other for.But some time you come to know some one accidentally. First time they had a word about some project was about after 4 month of college and they become the project partner. They know they can’t be friend not because they don’t like each other but they know they can’t be friend as their background difference doesn’t allow this.

Well who care for these things in the college. They met few more time in the college, class and also in canteen. They both made some good friend in the new college and new life. They hit the ground running with new friends. Their chemistry was great but they were not friends. Well the friend in their group were mostly couples. So it gave them extra time to be together. It made them understand each other more but still they were not friends. They went together in few parties and in the fresher party as well. Their entire friend was thinking as they were couple but for them they were still not friends. They used to have late night talk and lots of chat about their problems in college, life and friendship. They share lots of thing but only about college life. Both of them used to trust each other, help each other in notes, studies but still for them they were still not friends.

First semester holidays arrived faster than anyone of them would have thought. They all went away to homes with the promise of be back in few weeks and to be in touch in these weeks. Well exactly opposite happened with harry and sally. Both of them not made any promise. sally said to harry not to call him in these weeks. Not even messages can be sent. Well harry was fine with it initially. All of them left for holidays. And yet they were not friends.

Harry arrived in home after the first 6 month in the college. He was happy to be back in home. He was meeting with his old friends. First night he missed something in his life but he was not sure of what. All his friends were buys in something or other. He wanted to talk to someone. For the first time he was missing sally. He could not call sally and what bother him most was is sally also missing him? He was not sure about that. He wanted to know about her more than anything. How is She, what would be she doing? He picked up his phone thousand times and dialed her number and cut it again. He knows sally has said not to call her and he don’t want to offend her.

He gathered some courage, picked up his phone and type message. “How are you? I am missing my friend sally. Can we be friends?” He pressed send button. No reply was received for next few hours. He  was anxious about the reply. What would be her reply, has she read the message, why has she not replied, at least some reply can be send. Every message received in his phone he was thinking about it should be sally message. At around midnight he received message from sally. “I am fine. Don’t message me again as I said to you till we reach the college”.

It broke harry heart. His all dreams were gone from his eyes. She does not like him as friend? He is so bad. His thought were getting wild. He was only thinking about it has to be me.

He received another message in his phone. He opened the message. His smile was back on face after reading the message. “Well Mr. harry as per your friendship is concern you have to treat me as I am to missing you as my friend but no message OK.”

He was smiling and was on the cloud 9. For the first time he changed his name in this mobile as “Friend sally”. And for the records they were friends for the first time.

He was waiting for the day their college will open again and hoping his new friend sally will also be thinking the same. Friendship can bring lots of happiness in your life.

Felling happy...:)

The Village diary...(Part 2)

I looked at my watch it was about 12 noon yet there was so much calm here. I got the mixed feeling in my heart. It has been about 6 months since I visited home. Crossing the road seemed easier as traffic chaos was missing of big city. Everyone seems to be familiar face in the small town.

Usually form road to my home the distance is of about 1.5 Km. either my dad or Jija ji used to pic me up from the outside of the Village. This time it was different as I have decided to give surprise to all of them by reaching on my own. Nobody knew about my arrival apart from my Sister. While walking to the side of road I can see the difference in the village. The biggest change I have seen was to see lots of educational institute around my village. Well from engineering to management and even law college is now in walking distance of village. It feels strange to see these things happen in outside of my village. This was the same village where not a single school used to be there apart from Madarsa (It is place where Muslim student take education usually of religion and also now days it turn out to be full school with all facilities).

I and my sister used to go At least 25 KM for our college and even to 35 KM daily (Don’t think we used to walk that much. We used to take public transport). I had a luxury of bike when I was in college but my elder sisters used to go by public transport. This thing seems to have so little relevance today but it taught me so many things. I never complained in my life that I live in village so I will not be able to that or I am this because of that. Education is one thing only which can change the life and dynamics of villages. Nobody in village used to go to college from here till my sister first started it (I am biased toward praising her). People used to stay either in city or do it by correspondence. She was the one who gone against the trend and started the new trend. Nobody will remember her as first lady to be Graduate from his generation but she broke the barriers that were there in the village. Girls can study and even the higher studies. Well matter of fact in my village girl’s ratio of Graduate is higher than the boys. Maybe because they all know how hard they have to work to go for the education. It could not have been possible if two main points where not there:

College fees: It is quite less compare to what all big college charge to student. I graduated from Allahabad University in less than 5,000 Rs. And it is combines fees of all three years. It gives them option of dreaming that they can also take the education.

College status: Co College may be in trend in big city but if you go in small city there you find all girls and all boys colleges. Well it might be seemed backward to people here in big city. This is only hope for lots of girls whose parents might not allow them to go for college if it is Co College. This is truth but who cares if we can educate one generation we hope next will be more liberal and free in his/her thoughts.

I received the best education that my family can provide me. But when I see there are talented child’s out there but they can’t do anything. They don’t know what to do with life.

Well moving on I just imagined how things can be changed with little effort but will be helpful. I have seen city grow and villages turn into city just because of this education industry. I Hope same will happen with my village. Someday we might get to know it as a education hub of Allahabad.

A noise broke my thoughts. It was horn of car. Well I have given them way as I was walking in the middle of the road. Well walking carrying a big bag filled with all dirty cloth was not easy. I was smiling at every change I can notice. From trees to new homes in the village, new holes in the road and yet it seemed so much the same old like nothing has changed since I was the kid.

P.S.: Well education is one thing which can change your life. Even my grandmother used to take classes from me when I was in school. If she can try I think ever body can. She can write her name in Hindi and English yet she has not seen the face of school (only time she was in school to listen my compliant from teachers).

 By:  Saifi Shahid