Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Gap of words

There was one story of Mr. Kushwant singh, which I read in the school, was about him and his grandmother and how their relationship changed over the years. At that time I used to live with my Nani Ammi, and I used to think how could people change to the once who love them most. My age at that time would have been 10 or 12. Now I am around 23 and can understand each and every word of that story even though I have not read it in last 10 years.

Since last 4 years I have been living outside of my home, I only go home in Eid and Bakreed. First for my education and then for Job I am away from family. But had that changed me, my behavior, my attitude and my thinking towards them. If I look at myself with this question then definitely I have changed a lot in last few years. I don’t know for good or bad but yes it had affected me. I am not the same old person, there is no innocence in what I do, and all is about calculation and recalculation of life. Life is become more of a profit and loss statement rather than a simple sweet life.

When we are at this age of 20-30, we have the best time to be free yet we have the biggest responsibility. There was a great dialog in Spiderman, “With greater power, comes greater responsibility”. What we don’t understand is sometime people don’t need your wisdom of truth statement, they don’t need your advice, they don’t want to be with you always but they want you to listen to them as you used to do as a kid. They want to talk to you, know about you more as you used to tell them about your school, friends, you daily dose of over acting to them. But with time these thing changes and you are more protective toward your feeling. You don’t want to revel what is happening in your life, as you think they will not understand as they are form some different generation.

I also do the same thing; I avoid talking on the subject with my nani on which I know her opinions are different. She still looks at me suspiciously if I talk more than 10 Min. on the phone, it is not because she is from different generation, and she is protective towards me. She loves me more than anything else.  She barely walks in the home because of her age, but when I am in the home she come to my room to give me everything she can arrange to eat. From fruits to samosa, from Jalebi to Namkeen whatever she can.

I feel often we have lost the touch, as we could not communicate more through word as we used to do. But what she has for me is love and only love. She is like a child, who will not listen to anyone apart from me and my mom. But still she has habit of surprising me every time either with her new talks or with her new details about me. Well this time she gave me my class IV identity card, I was almost shocked to see myself. But then again I know she always keep my thing in a very protective manner. Maybe someday I should tell her story which she kept repeating me, A classic one that is, Maybe someday.