Friday, April 20, 2012

You were my crush ……till you left the college (Last part) first part of this story.

Why you never realize how much you love some one till it is gone. I not the first to say or feel like this, As my crush was coming towards its end.

It was farewell day. The name we gave to it was “Rukhsat”. It means saying good bye to any one in a gross term (I hardly understood that thing) . This was name which was give by dear friend Saifi. He picked that name while he was in his home and we were looking for the name for the farewell of the seniors.  He suggested this name and we all like it instantly. It was name which defined that part of my life. Going away from the thing that you loved the most. I wanted it to last forever but things don’t go as per your plan. Do they?

Well I could not Imagine how would be college like without her presence in it. It was weird thing to Imagine. from last three months we have been best of friends. She was my senior but still our friendship was best thing I could have asked for in my college life. Some says I am apple of her eyes but neither did she cared nor I.  We used to spend hours in the canteen, college grounds and even some time in the market. but for her it was friendship and for me it was more than that. I liked her but I could not tell her. I regret that part few times but then also I was happy to have her as a friend. Today it was all different, she will be leaving the college. I never know that this day will come so soon in my life. I was still in thought of her while standing in front of the college Auditorium where our farewell was going to happen. I have not participated in anything just because it it all really politically related and you need to be so much involved, it is better to avoid it.

I was still lost in my dreams. Some how I never notice what is in front of me. Seniors have started to arrive in the farewell, I was not a bit interested in it. After a long wait I can see her coming from the stairs. She was looking stunning in Sari. That was the dress code for girls. If I could have got chance to make one second to be printed on your mind, for me that was the point. She has not done any makeup but still she was looking so good. In the party I could not get chance to chat with her. She was busy with her classmates and I was with mine. I was all the time looking for her. I was only looking at her. I received a message from her in my phone. “Meet you at tea point after party”.

for me whole party was pointless after that. I left party even before the Mr. fresher and Miss. Fresher event was finished. Tea point was the place where we meet usually in the evening after the college. I reached there and ordered the tea. I picked my phone and dropped her message, “I am at tea point. Plz come fast”. I don’t know what to say to her. good, bad or nothing. In my mind I was just thinking about the same. it was really amazing how time has passed. We used to share maggie, ice cream in the tea point. All the good things comes to end.

“Hi, so why you here outside in the middle of the show” she asked with great smile in her face.

“Well I am here because this is best place to be with you. And also I was not interested in the party, there was all the crap thing going on”. I said while seeing her smiling face. It was just like a fresh air her smile can make you forget any thing.

“Well this is my last day, so today this tea party is from my side”, she said to me while sitting on the bench. I could not make up mind how to react. I was feeling bad now this is going to be worse I thought in my mind.

“Look I want to say something to you”, her voice seems to be in a serious tone and usually this only happen when she want to say something Important. I said, “Go on, I am listening”.

“We are good friends, and today is my last day here. I don’t know after this day we will be able be meet ever or not. I don’t have answers of that question. but few thing I wanted to tell you. I never knew we would become such a good friend over a period of time. You were there for me when I needed you and you helped me a lot in every matter I needed you. sometime more than you can do for me. but this is it, you have to realize it. This is day where all things come to an end. I move on in life and I hope you could also move on. I know what you feel for me, but I can’t do anything about it” I was just feeling strange in my heart. Is this it would be coming to end.

she continued, “look at our first day, I asked you pencil and you didn’t have it with you. but still we became friend. And indeed a best friend but then I could go any further than this. I hope you know that”. I took a deep breath inside. I looked in her eyes, it has still the same glow which was on the first day we met. It was a unusual silence in between us. She broke the silence, “ I have bought you a gift because I knew you would never bring any gift for me”.  She opened her bag and took out a packet from there. “this one is for you and open it right now”.

I opened it and it was a key ring. A key ring on which it was written “I am your crush”. I could not hold my self. I felt like crying, it was getting harder for me. Thanks was the only word I could say. I knew this was the last time we could each other any thing. I hold my voice and said I bought a gift for you. “really I could not believe that, where is my gift” she said in her as usual cheerful tone.

“ I will give you once you will reach in the audi again” I said while seeing her face. I could she her face in the fading light. the sunset point was coming to its end. We completed our tea and she went and I pressed send button from my mobile.

“As I was not able to say things infront of you, I decide to say in this wasy”
why it have to end this way,
we met, became friend and then
we have to leave this way.
why it have to end this way,
I know you never said to be with me forever,
I never wanted to be the special one,
I know it will end in any way,
but why it have end this way,
you were my crush from the first day,
I hope you will remember me always,
I never wanted to say goodbye,
but now it time to say, you were just my crush,
but why it have to end this way”….

I could not stop my self from dialing her number. 
"Hello, Can we meet after farewell"..