Monday, July 22, 2013

Emotionally confused

What I should write today, I am not sure. When I opened my laptop today, I had 1000 of thought in mind to write about, but there is one very strong emotion in my mind which I want to truly express, how it is like to be live away from your family?

What I feel like at this movement of time if I describe it, I feel like emotionally missing something in life, a backbone of your life which is supported by your mom, a movement of joy which is provided by your sister, a movement of smile which we all share on small joke, a movement of emotion which we can share with our grand parent. I feel like missing that thing in my life. I know people always had to be emotionally very strong to do something in life, you have sacrifice so much in life, then someday you become what you want to become but at what cost?

In economics I read a concept called “Opportunity cost”, it define how any action or activity you do in life or business it has a cost which you ignore to choose the current one. For example I am living here in Delhi with my friends for my job, so I have the opportunity cost of living in home with my family. It gives me an idea how we have changes so much in life for the things which might not be needed in the end by us at all. Generally I don’t like to give into my blog about my what I am thing inside my mind about emotions but today is exception, I will tell what I am thing right now.

As I talked with my mom today, I feel like they have all the things in life and in my home. But they don’t have anyone over there to help them and take use of it. like in my home there is car standing in the garage but no one is there to drive it, my dad don’t drive it and I am here in Delhi. It makes me confuse about the way I should be living my life, I should be here or there with them. I have made a decision and now I am living with it, but there will be a day when I will be back with them very soon. I don’t want to live my life full of regret, as I have till now. I will do what is right at that no matter what my future will hold for me. 

In out today culture what we ignore most is our family; we always take them for granted. Mom, dad and sisters we always thing they will be on my side no matter what happens. Especially me I am unable to show my emotions to them, because while growing up I was always told mans today cry. But often I feel like crying by putting my head on my mom lap, and he just put his hand on my head. I just wanted to talk to him so much but not on phone, I wanted to eat so much of good food from my sister hand, but as it said rightly, “Har kisi ko mukmaal jahan nahi milta, kisi ko jameen aur kisi ko asmaan nahi milta”..

 I am emotionally confused today, maybe tomorrow I will be normal and better but till then I am missing everything in life.. L