Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The pain of losing something

How hard is to leave something which you started and build over the time, you spent your time and also your soul in building that thing? For me it has been really difficult. Just now I found out how difficult is to lose something which you always want to build more and much bigger than something else you have build.

Right now I am in grief, don’t know what to do, whether I should let it be and move on or I should stand up and say something about it. My heart and mind are divided right now, both are saying something else and they are right thing for me or not I don’t know. I have never been in this situation before, I have been always asked before taking anything back but now I for the first time it has been not done. I am feeling really bad about it. There are always time when the promises are broken and also the words are not lived up to, but what you do about it. I have done nothing in the past and also not anything in the present. 

 Mind is saying to me that it is part and parcel of game, you lose something and you gain something, you can’t see anything only on short term basis, you have to see that if it can help you in future. You have to take decision on the basis of the best of interest of mine, I can’t be emotional about it and also I can’t do all the things alone. I have let go something at sometime so I can do other things. I have to make sure that I am doing the entire thing keeping my emotion aside and take the decision in the best interest of mine, even though I am deeply emotional person for the thing which I am involved in. but somehow I have to get over this somehow. 

But my heart is saying something else, it is still aggrieved about the loss, how I could lose something which I build and hoped to build. I wanted that much freedom to choose rather than being told or forced with decision. I am really become emotional on this point of view, maybe because I never say anything people take me for granted and they think it will not hurt him because he don’t think too much or say too much. I know, it is hard for me explain people how it feel like, when this thing happen to you, people always blame you for the failure, but they never look at the effort you put in the basics to make thing happen. I have seen it all in last 2 years, some broken promises, some outstanding result and some unsaid rule.

I don’t know what I will do next in few days, I will move on asap, or will take a stand, first one is more likely with me. Meanwhile what interest me is that people always take credit for the entire small thing in the bigger picture you work will be only valued once you left anyplace.