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Thursday, June 13, 2013

I, Me and totally myself



Lately I have missed writing on my blog regularly in my life. There has not been any specific reason but somehow I could now find any motivation to write. The reason have dried up, topics are not coming in my mind, could not find time in my life to write and list will go on. I could not find any one specific reason because of which I could not write these days. Slowly I am coming to term with the notion that you could not write at will, there will be time in your life when you could not write even thought how much you want to put your head in it. 

So what I did for last few month in life, which is quite big question when I look back at my life from January. To be short I have put my whole focus in last few month on my professional life, I have put more focus, more energy and more thoughts to get my priority right. I have become more familiar with number which has helped me to understand deep analytics of anything, I am able to handle my time better and also the goal which I have to achieve, it is all down to the fact that I have been putting extra effort in this thing, I have become so much more calculative in so many thing to make sure that I get used to thing which I want to do. When I see myself today I see a drastic change in me from last year. I am more open to other criticism (Now I take them in +ve way), I am more open to agree that I am wrong on certain term, I have become less argumentative and try to accept the fact that I could be wrong at time. But there has been another side of coin in this story which I am writing below.

As I have put more focus on my professional life, because of that my personal life has been out of order in last few months. Start with missing my best friend wedding, even though she has forgiven me but I know it could have been different. I could have been in her marriage but that is part and parcel of life we live in. If I see today, I am giving less time to my friend, family and people who care about me in real term. They always have been my side no matter what I have done but for how long they can bear me that is question to me. I miss the fact that it could have been so much different if I could have spend some more good time with them, this if is the factor which always create so many regret in life. We often think about time which we could have behaved or acted differently but does that could have changed the outcome. 

I don’t know what is coming in next few months in my life; I am trying very hard to maintain the bal. of personal and professional life. May be finally I will strike the right note and will get the best out of me in both the world.